And speaking of www.consumerist.com, I just read about a New York event put together by The Climate Group out of London that “vetted solutions that actually do result in both CO2 and dollar savings for everyday people.”

The article I spotted mentioned that several brands were eager to be (voluntarily) involved in order to show their clima-worthiness, including Dell, Chase and Target.  There were a bunch of video screens in Times Square, Dell laptops you could use to check out www.together.com (the campaign was called “Together”) and so on.

So the www.consumerist.com connection is… Wouldn’t it be fantastic if one website built its credibility as THE source for determining whether a company is really green or not?  You could go to the site, type in any company’s name and the site would present its “Green Sheet” on the company’s activities, charitable donations to environmental causes (if any), its estimated CO2 impact in, say, the last 25 years and an overall rating on a scale of 1 to 10.  The site would also present a curated selection of articles and news about that company related to its environmental impact.

www.treehugger.com is the closest I can think of – here is what comes up when I typed “General Motors” into the site’s search box – but the site doesn’t pull everything together (as in my Green Sheet idea) nor is it comprehensive.

It’s an interesting thought:  would you pay a subscription fee for a site that was truly sort of the “Consumer Reports of environmentalism?”  The one place you would know you could visit for the right amount of information on any company you could imagine?  I think I would.
climate changewww.together.com

Anyone who has ever even heard the phrase “market research” could have told you that THIS would not be a big seller.

A very cursory scan of message boards populated by men (many of whom would kill someone to protect you but get squeamish around the slightest bit of blood or pain) came up with near-instant entries such as:

- “How does it come off?  Talk about peeling paint off of wood…”
- “It’ll be too cold!”
- “It’ll be too hot!”
- “Does it fit in your wallet?”
- “This could have applications in water-proofing weapons…”

You know, the Dyson guy says that he built over 5,100 vacuum cleaners before he got one right.  I wonder what the initial experiments for this were like.  Yikes!

Hey, am I the last person to discover www.consumerist.com?  Part of the Gawker Media Network, “The Consumerist” highlights bad customer service stories with posts that include corporate phone numbers, addresses, scanned letters and much more.  The over 1.5 million monthly unique visitors also post the latest discounts, deals and give-aways but it’s the scams and disastrous customer service experiences that are the real attention-getters.

This one - about a nightmarish story involving a forgotten Blockbuster Video tape, Discover and a collection agency – is typical.

 The real fun though, I think, is the ongoing competition for “Worst Company In America 2008,” which the site is running like a sports season, bracket and all (“Yeah, I had Exxon Vs. Countrywide in the final. …Countrywide has to be the favorite here”).  Clever.  They’re down to the Final Four – so exciting!!
consumerist.com

Starbucks has announced that they are getting out of the music business.  This is a follow-up to the recent re-org at their entertainment division (read: they ousted the president).  Apparently the chain is still selling books.  And although Shultz’s recent re-ascendance to the CEO role came with a vow that the company would return to its roots, all the Starbucks I frequent in New York still sell food and, specifically, the stinky breakfast sandwiches that Schultz said would be discontinued.

I believe that the company’s foray into entertainment, in particular, was fundamentally flawed at the start.  Starbucks has evolved not into a vacation spot (where fiction and music would make sense), but into my “third place” (computer = third screen, Starbucks = third place).  If I’m in a hurry, I want my cup of coffee and a decent customer experience.  If I’m there for an extended period of time, you can be sure that it’s likely to be business related:  a meeting, the prep for a meeting or sitting with my computer doing work.  This is why keeping wi-fi makes sense:  it’s completely unobstrusive and it helps customers execute on what they’re already doing.  The rest of these add-ons represent a blind spot at the company.  They somehow failed to get underneath the fundamental perceptions and habits of their customers.

The impact of this blind spot, though, would not have been so profound if they’d succeeded in continuing to fulfill their destiny as a coffee house.  It’s not that a brand can’t expand in nutty directions:  it’s that it has to successfully execute on its core mission before consumers can give it “permission” to extend itself.  Standing in a long, unorganized line for a cup of java – noting that the music spinner rack is full but the condiments bar is a mess – only makes me mad. 

I’m really rooting for Starbucks but, man, they’re not making it easy.

“The market is weird.”

Nearly all my friends are saying this.  I’ve said it.  But will economic uncertainty finally be what legitimizes temporary – or “interim” – executive work?

The Wall Street Journal did a big article on the phenomenon recently and – I’m gonna say it – the executives in the article who are the happiest doing temp work appear to be older individuals and those who really do not want a full time position. 

It shouldn’t be that way.  Many of these gigs are real jobs, not fake consulting that people claim to do between gigs.  We all have acquaintances who have done this.

But this – is not that.  And interim gigs can provide extraordinary experience and exposure.  I just don’t think that recruiters and potential (full-time) employers have caught up.   I hope they do. 

Last year, I went to the Cooper-Hewitt National Design Museum’s exhibit, “Design For The Other 90%.”

The other 90% refers to those around the world who need help with basic needs – not new iPods, digital cameras or high-def TVs. 

The exhibit featured such inventions as the Big Boda Load Carrying Bicycle, which can carry hundreds of pounds of cargo, and the Pot-In-Pot Cooler, which can preserve fruits and vegetables in places where there is little or no transportation, water or electricity.

One of the most amazing inventions was the LifeStraw, which was reviewed today in the Wall Street Journal. 

The LifeStraw is a personal, portable water purifier that eliminates nearly all waterborne bacteria and viruses responsible for diarrheal diseases among the 1 billion people on the planet without access to clean drinking water.  It costs less than $3 and won a 2007 National Design Award, among many others.  It is miraculous.

Mikkel Vestergaard, whose 51 year old family company created the LifeStraw, says “There is no conflict between doing good and doing business.”  His company is based in Denmark.  How many companies here in the US can say (and do) the same?

You can donate LifeStraws from here.
lifestraw

A recent Brandweek article asks whether the sale of Star Trek-branded caskets and cremation urns represent branding’s “final frontier…”

Yup. I think it does.

After running sales and marketing for DC Comics I figured I’d seen everything, and I do know how powerful a person’s connection to a character can be - 5 and 55 year old boys/men tearing up over free Supes posters can give you an idea of folks’ commitment to this stuff pretty quickly.  But Brady Bunch coffins?  KISS urns?

Eternal Image, Inc. is the first company in the funereal business to break into licensing.  They’ve signed deals with MLB (“Go Mets!  All the way to… Heaven!”), CBS Consumer Products the Vatican and several universities, plus the American Kennel Club and Cat Fanciers Association for those must-have urns customized with your pet’s name and photo.

A partner at the licensing concern working with Eternal Image says that – had there been MLS caskets at the time of his dad’s death – he would have loved to have been buried in a Red Sox box.

I do get it.  It’s not hurting anyone and these are simply new products that are available should an individual wish to select them.  But I still think it’s over the top and – if I were managing any of these brands – I’d shy away from the potential association with some of the events that have taken place in the death business over the past several years.  After all, your boss sees one cemetery horror story on the news involving a Yankees casket and you’re – well – dead.

The highlight of a recent bus trip that found me in the Garden State was a billboard for the New Jersey State Fair, a wing-ding at the Meadowlands that attracted a total of 450,000 people last year.

Alongside a big picture of a kid hanging upside down on some sort of ride the billboard said, ”New Jersey State Fair – Jerking You Around Since 1937.”

Pretty clever (and nervy!  Hats off to whomever came up with that, and his/her boss who signed the check).

Denny’s.  Have you ever been to a Denny’s?  Home of the Grand Slam Breakfast?  I just happened to find this:  the Grand Slam Slugger has 1,128 calories in it.  That’s 105% of the total recommended daily intake of fat.  WOW.

Anyway, Denny’s is promoting all-night “parties,”  complete with dim lighting and alternative rock playing from 10pm to 5am.  And they’re sticking to the eat-until-you-puke approach with selections including Potachos (sort of a french-fries-meets-nachos affair) and Sweet Ride Nachos: cinnamon sugar chips, hot fudge and whipped cream.



Up to this point, I just figured “Well this is ridiculous, but it’s a free country.”  Then I read the tagline for this new effort:  “Nothing good happens after midnight – except Denny’s.”

That is just beyond beyond.  I mean, I think I’m insulted. I remember, back in my hazy, hazy memory, having just a little more fun than that after midnight (I think)…

Can you imagine how sad life would be like if that were TRUE? [We'd all weigh 300 pounds, for starters...]

Verizon is wonderful because – if you can put up with the outrageous prices and awful service – they’re funny!

Ken Magill over at DM News wrote a post today describing the error message that he and all other Verizon Internet customers received when they attempted to unsuccessfully log on to Verizon’s network.

The top of the error message announced that the customer has no broadband access for the time being.  The bottom of said message said “We never stop working for you.”

Perhaps it should have said “We never stop working for you… until we do?”  One of Magill’s suggestions is “Ordinarily we’d never stop working for you, but sometimes we have to pee.”

That is just great.  Cringeworthy if you’re the head of marketing, but still great.

Don’t you wish you ran a monopoly? *Sigh*

I’ve written about Steve & Barry’s before, highlighting this fast-growing chain’s approach of creating celebrity-branded clothing.  Sarah Jessica Parker’s “Bitten” line has probably received the most attention.  S&B has been lauded in the press for this clever approach and their ability to ride it to success with a minimum of advertising.

Unfortunately, Carrie Bradshaw doesn’t appear to have enough magic this time.

Steve & Barry’s is looking for a major cash infusion and is said to be near bankruptcy.

I have just one humble observation on this.  I’ve been in several stores targeting a similar demographic: H&M on Fifth Avenue just yesterday, for example.  The clothing isn’t meant for me, but I could see many pieces that were fashionable and well-designed.  When I once toured a Steve & Barry’s (because the Sarah Jessica Parker connection made me curious), I was really surprised to see clothes and shoes that I thought were of very poor quality.

In the end - coupled with a little too much expansion, too fast – could it be that simple?

Most folks don’t think about the custom publishing business, per se; they may receive a magazine from Four Seasons Hotels or WebMD or AT&T, but don’t really notice that these publications were created by Pace, TMG and Time Inc., respectively).  Media people think about it, though, and have helped make it $55 billion business in the US, with 38.7 billion publications being distributed in 2008 alone.

This is one of the many reasons that Wal-Mart is smart to partner with Hearst on the store chain’s first custom publishing endeavor, 30 Days of Home.  The retailer is using the publication to promote its new line of home furnishings and distributed it with June issues of Good Housekeeping, Country Living, House Beautiful, two Oprah mags and Redbook (all Heart pubs).

A custom pub, created in partnership with mainstream publishers is typically welcomed into and kept in the home at much higher rates than a product-focused catalog.  30 Days offers editorial, useful photography and captions and video content that help the recipient see herself in a home featuring Wal-Mart furnishings:  the mag becomes something that is about her (the buyer), not the retailer (the seller).

It’s a good idea.

Ever been to Dylan’s Candy Bar on the Upper East Side of New York City?  Since 2001, this 15,000 square foot flagship store has blossomed into 6 locations, with more on the way.  Because Dylan’s dad is Ralph Lauren and the space really is visually amazing, the chain has been profiled in Vogue, Town & Country, WSJ, Elle and others.  Life is sweet!

How to describe Dylan’s to the uninitiated?  It is jammed everyday with tourists with children, wealth Manhattanites with children, B&Ts with children and children with children.  Or maybe, just children.  Get the picture?  The place is the Candyland game come to life.  And it can be fun for adults sans kids, but only in a “I’ve heard this place is a spectacle so let’s go look at the $20 Elvis Pez dispensers and $325 ‘deluxe’ candy gift baskets.  Once.” kind of way.  And since my boyfriend and I had this very experience maybe 7 years ago, I’d lost track of the goings-on.

Who knew that Dylan’s has become an “authentic lifestyle” brand (according to the stores’ press kit)?  Who’s lifestyle, Willy Wonka?  But hey, whatever. 

But now, I’m wondering if all that candy has given the management team some sort of sugar coma:  part of the flagship’s top floor is being converted into a bar (see above pic).  That’s right.  A liquor license, the whole deal.  Dylan herself suggests that it will become a place where “hip New Yorkers can go for a first date or a nightcap.”  The conflicts are everywhere:  peppermint stools (not sexy).  Dylan’s comment that “We don’t want people getting drunk.”  The bar area being carefully cut off from the rest of the store after 5pm, because management is worried that 5 year old birthday party revelers might wander into happy hour.

It’s:  a bar!  Anyone who does show up… may get drunk!  And a place for a “first date?” Perhaps for, uh, those who – never mind.

More power to ‘em, but I think this is hilarious.  A real gaffe in terms of extending a brand into unnatural – and, in fact, needlessly damaging – territory.  I predict abject failure.*  I also predict that Dylan will bounce back and everything will be fine.  In the meantime, I’d suggest you move fast if you want to swing on a peppermint stool, drink peppermint schnapps and think drunken candy thoughts.

 * Except, maybe, in Dylan’s new Vegas location…

Readers know that I’m partial to a couple cartoonists and I like to share their work now and then.  On www.stephaniefierman.com, it’s Tom Fishburne’s Brand Camp.  Here, it’s our funny friend David Jones and Adland.  Enjoy!

An article in Crain’s NY this week talked about model apartments being sold already “dressed” – that is, sold with all the furniture, pots, pans and towels the developer had added to show prospective buyers.

It made me wonder if there’s a business in this:  that is, deliberately dressing apartments (not just the few models a building may have) as part of the building process to be sold to harrassed, time-stressed yuppies and families.  I was in a taxi a couple weeks ago and NBC’s “Open House” was highlighting some beautiful condo for sale – the furniture, art, etc. were absolutely perfect for the space.  I fantasized about packing a bag, marching across town and moving in.  The article also mentions that one of these models included all the furnishings at a 10% discount (for wear and tear), which is a nice bonus.

New York’s new fascination with designer apartment buildings – see Ian Schragers’ 40 Bond and Armani’s 20 Pine (weirdly, a building I used to work in) – would seem to lend itself nicely to the idea of a new apartment created, say, ”from the inside out…”

Hoo-hoo! Those folks at the Philadelphia Morning News, The Inquirer and Philly.com are characters!  Over the weekend, this team ran a series of ads for a fake airline, “Derrie-Air” (stop, I’m rolling!), that purports to charge passengers based on their weight. 

The ads ran 21 times in The Inquirer, 15 times in the Morning News and on Philly.com’s home page.  A spokesperson said that one of the goals was to demonstrate the coalition’s “collective power” to generate awareness for even a fake brand. Early results including a Philly.com CTR of 1.25%, which is decent.  Not break-through but not embarrASSing, either (pardon the pun).

I have two completely unrelated observations on this event:

(1) The results that these media outlets can generate for a fake ad that was also meant, in their own words, to “put a smile on people’s faces” – in other words, be funny – doesn’t predict a whole lot about their ability to deliver on the goals you may have for your new dog toothpaste or bathroom scrubber.

(2) It did make me think, once again, about JetBlue charging for 4 extra inches of legroom and American Airlines’ plan to charge $15 for your first checked bag and $25 for your second.  Seriously: could charging by your weight be far behind?  

All of these charges are a result of skyrocketing costs and all are weird, nickel-and-diming stunts that penalize only segments of the airlines’ flying public.  Why should a tall woman have to pay more to sit like a human being on a JetBlue flight?  And why does that guy who jams an obviously too-big bag into an overhead compartment get a pass at AA?  The per-bag fees are going to be a nightmare to execute, as well, as I discovered when trying to arrange travel for my disabled mother this weekend:  AA’s plan is to have the skycaps outside the terminal make judgments as to which customers are exempt from the new charges and which are not.  The skycaps will also be responsible for collecting the additional cash.  Gosh, I feel sorry for them – and for us. The lines are going to be crazy.  Then, in a seemingly unrelated move, AA raised round-trip prices today $20.

People who have to fill up their gas tanks every week know what’s going on; we may not like to have to pay up, but we know the airlines are hurting.  Why doesn’t AA levy an additional $30 fuel surcharge on all round-trip tickets (or just raise prices $30) and call it a day?

Consumers do not like being pecked to death, or to see a company create a customer service nightmare that is easily avoidable.  Treat customers like adults and they may be more likely to behave like ones.  No promises, but the airlines – whom consumers so badly want to like – really do seem to set themselves up a lot of the time.

Very, very interesting lawsuit making the rounds in Europe right now…

 The European Court of Justice, Europe’s highest court, is hearing a case that will decide whether Google violates trademark law by allowing companies to purchase brand names to trigger pay-per-click ads.

The case stems from an earlier lawsuit filed in France by Louis Vuitton against Google.  LVMH claimed that Google was violating the law by allowing marketers to purchase, say, “Louis Vuitton replica” or “Louis Vuitton fake.”  Louis Vuitton actually won this case in France but Google appealed.   Le Meridien Hotels filed a very similar case – again in Europe – and also won.

Google has had better luck in the US although it has been sued there, as well.  The only case that went to trial was a suit filed by Geico – and Google won.  The judge said that there was no evidence that consumers were confused by the ads that appeared as a result of PPC term that included the company’s name.  American Airlines has also filed a similar suit. 

If the final decision is that Google cannot sell terms including proper nouns/company names to any entity that does not own that word or phrase, this will have major impact on search and search marketing.  After all, 444,000 results come up on Google for the search term ”Walmart S**s” alone…

I certainly took notice of American Airlines’ new $15 charge per checked bag, but I missed this one:  Jetblue is charging an extra fee for seats with 4 “extra” inches of legroom!  

Hold up your thumb and forefinger right now and spread them 4″ apart.  That’ll be $10-20, please.

Tiered pricing seems completely at odds with JetBlue’s fundamental principles.  I don’t have anything against tiered pricing, in particular, but not every tactic can work for every brand.  For two people sitting nearly right next to each other to have a different amount of space based on what they’re paying feels really off.  And to promote the program as “Even More Legroom” is somewhat deceiving.

I know the airlines are hurting, but for one that has prided itself on having a single class cabin, chips for all and a definite “we”-style approach, this is a bad idea.  Tough times may well call for higher pricing, but look hard at the basics upon which your company was founded before take any particular action just to make a buck.  Your brand should always be used as a filter.  Because once that foundation is gone, it’s just about impossible to get it back.

FedEx Corp. is changing the name of  Kinko’s to FedEx Office.

After having owned the company for only four years, FedEx is making this change because it believes that the new name more accurately describes the range of services available through the division.  It was news to me that Kinko’s should no longer be described as a ”copy and print-service provider” – and I think it might be puzzling to consumers, who historically have been none too impressed with Kinko’s ability to serve up even these capabilities – but there you are. 

What I thought notable about this otherwise routine story is the fact that FedEx is taking an $891 million charge – $515 million in relation to a write-down of the goodwill associated with the Kinko’s name, and $367 million reflecting a lower fair value of the asset.  The press release cites current economic conditions, poor performance and a reduced rate of store expansion.

Wow.  Does FedEx have $515 million worth of confidence that its name is worth so much more than Kinko’s?  All the merchandising for the stores would still have to be different (“FedEx Office” is not “FedEx”), so it’s not really a cost-based move… I can only assume that with performance down, FedEx figured it might as well bite the bullet and push all its bad news out now while every other company is doing the same thing:  it’ll sting less than it would if/when the economy turns around. 

It’s a somewhat undistinguised end to a well-known brand, though.  Kinko’s started with one copy machine in a shop right next to UC Santa Barbara in 1970.

A number of companies are seizing on some of the most recent insanities in the marketplace to try to get attention and build loyalty among their customer bases.

Calloway Golf, Charter Communications and Hearst’s Popular Mechanics are all offering free gas promotions.  Loews Hotels will reimburse guests the $15 new checked-bag fees up to a total of $30.

 Now comes news that the Bunny Ranch will reimburse guests up to $15 for their first piece of checked luggage.

How thoughtful!  One can only hope, however, that a visitor would only have checked luggage because he was on a longer trip and just passing through:  otherwise this would be extra-icky.

Have you checked out my other blog recently?  Please do!  You can find it at www.stephaniefierman.com.